Think Values Work Is Woo? Think Again.
How values work helped anchor me during my sabbatical.
So life got a little crazy last week. My son, a freshman in high school, had his first homecoming dance. But…he didn’t finalize his date until two days before and, as you might imagine, this created a storm of things to be done in a very short window. Had this happened pre-sabbatical, the outcome would have been wildly different. This week I reflect on that distinction and the value I continue to reap from my sabbatical investment.
As a reminder, starting in October, I’m leading a beta cohort with a small group of women who are on sabbatical. If you’re interested in learning more, this is the last week to do so before we begin - click here.
Last week, my high school freshman son needed a last-minute run to the store to get ready for his Homecoming dance (well, multiple). It wasn’t on the calendar. It wasn’t efficient. It wasn’t part of any plan. But I could go. Without rearranging meetings or apologizing to anyone. Without weighing if the “cost” to my workday was too high.
That moment reminded me what values alignment really looks like in action; a true gift I received during my sabbatical.
What Are Values?
In my previous company roles, there was always a lot of chatter about values. Sometimes they were done well and sometimes they were just put on a wall. For the ones that were done well, they served as a filter set for how business was done. Did a potential candidate exhibit them? Did our annual plan hold true to them?
I hadn’t done much work on these for myself prior to my sabbatical. As I found myself fairly unmoored without my corporate job defining my identity, I knew I needed to get reconnected to who I am and what matters to me. This values work seemed like a step in that direction.
As I researched this, I found that I had a lot of misconceptions about what a value actually is. What I discovered is that values are deeply held principles that act like a compass for our lives. They help you make consistent decisions about what you want to do, how you spend your time, and what really matters to you.
But caution: they are often confused with goals, preferences or roles we play. For example:
A goal might be: “I want to be promoted.”
A preference might be: “I enjoy travel.”
A role might be: “I’m a parent.”
But values live underneath all of that. They are the drivers of why those things matter to us. For example, a goal might be
Watch Outs
Doing values work is powerful, but there are common traps that can trip you up. Here are three to keep in mind:
1. Choosing too many values
It’s tempting to make a long list. Narrowing feels risky; however, f you try to hold onto everything, you end up with nothing meaningful. Think about how companies target customers. If they try to appeal to everyone, their message gets so watered down it lands with no one. The same is true here. Your values list should be short enough to act as a clear compass, not a vague wishlist.
2. “I don’t even know who I am”
When you’ve been out of touch with yourself for a while, this work can feel intimidating. You may wonder, “How can I choose if I don’t even know myself right now?” Don’t overthink it. This process is actually how you begin to reconnect. Let your inner guide whisper the answers, even if they feel small or tentative at first.
3. Choosing what you think you should choose
Many people default to values that reflect other people’s expectations rather than their own truth. Family, culture, religion, partners, or even colleagues can quietly shape what we put on the page. To separate what’s yours from what belongs to others, start by writing down all the expectations you carry. Get them out in the open. Then, ask yourself: if you had everyone’s full approval no matter what, then what would you choose? What would you do? That question often unlocks your real values.
Bonus: The fear of honesty
Sometimes the scariest part is realizing the life you’ve built doesn’t line up with the values you uncover. That’s normal. And yes, it can be uncomfortable. But clarity is the first step toward creating a life that feels authentic, not just achievable.
One final common mistake: Family
People often say “family” is one of their values. But family is not a value. Family is a context. What matters is what about family is most important to you. Is it connection? Loyalty? Generosity? Security? Autonomy? Presence? The value is the principle behind why family is so important to you.
Values are what you bring with you everywhere. They don’t change depending on whether you’re at work, at home, or on sabbatical.
Why Values Matter
When we live out of alignment with our values, we feel it. It shows up as exhaustion, resentment, or that quiet hum of “is this really it?” that keeps us awake at night. When we live in alignment, even the small moments feel meaningful. We don’t just survive our days; rather, we begin to fully live them.
My old life rewarded speed, productivity, and constant availability. Those weren’t entirely aligned with my values, but I bent myself to them for years. Now, after stepping away, I can see the cost. And I can feel the difference when my daily choices reflect what actually matters to me.
A Tool to Find Your Values
If you’re unsure what your values are, here’s a simple exercise I use with clients:
Think of three peak moments in your life when you felt most alive, proud, or fulfilled. Write down what was happening and why it mattered.
Look for patterns. What principles show up across those stories? For example: freedom, learning, service, creativity, courage, authenticity.
Narrow to five. Circle the five values that feel most essential — the ones you wouldn’t want to live without.
Pressure-test them. Ask yourself: would this still matter in every area of my life, not just in one role? If not, refine it.
Your list is your filter set. Post it somewhere visible. Let it guide decisions big and small ranging from which job to take, to whether you can say yes to a late-night store run with your kid.
A New Measure of Success
Success used to mean a packed schedule, a bigger title, or hitting the next revenue milestone. Now, It means designing my life around the values that are most true for me - which guided me to a guilt-free (and fun!) retail run with my son. It felt right because it solidly ticked both my autonomy and connection values.
This isn’t about balance, which implies tradeoffs. It’s about alignment. When your values guide you, the small stuff becomes the big stuff. And those moments are the real markers of a life well lived.
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Hello everyone!
If this article spoke to you and you are a professional woman in midlife at any point on her sabbatical journey, I have a solution I’ve been working on that I’m excited to share.
I’m kicking off a beta cohort in October 2025 to help professional women on sabbatical maximize their investment in themselves and confidently navigate this valuable but uncertain time with others doing the same (guys - don’t worry - more for you later!). The group program is limited to just 8 spots. I’m also offering beta pricing for this first round.
If this sounds like you, click the button below to fill out a short expression of interest form and I’ll send you some more information.
Thanks Danielle. The more I navigate the path of deep of transformation - within myself, and journeying alongside others - the more I appreciate the power of consciously held and accepted values.